Why Matriliny Doesn't Equate to Matriarchy: Inside Meghalaya's Matrilineal Structure

What does it actually mean when a woman owns the house but not the decisions made inside it? Having recently watched a series of videos about Meghalaya’s matrilineal system, I found myself questioning a common belief: does tracing heritage through women really mean that a society is free from patriarchal norms? Meghalaya is frequently recognised as an anomaly in India, a region where surnames, clan affiliations and inherited properties are passed down through mothers. However as I delved deeper , it became increasingly clear that matriliny and matriarchy are not synonymous. Indian society is largely patriarchal but there are also some matrilineal societies that are sometimes mistaken for matriarchy. Matriliny is a system of kinship where descent and inheritance are traced through the female line, from mother to child whereas in a matriarchy women hold the primary authority and power, and descent need not necessarily be traced down the female line. Meghalaya is the epitome of matriliny and has primarily three tribes named Khasi, Jaintia and Garo tribes. The Khasi indigenous people follow a matrilocal system. This involves a neolocal residence pattern where the husband moves in with the wife’s maternal kin or sets up a new residence near the wife’s maternal residence. This system is not unique to just India where it's largely prevalent in South and North east but is also practised in a few pockets of South East Asia. For example: The world’s largest matrilineal society, the Minangkabau is in Sumatra, Indonesia. As for the Khasi indigenous people of Meghalaya the rights of governance are with the male members of society and the rights related to custody of minors and inheritance of property are with the female members, particularly with the youngest daughter known as the “Khatduh” who has to look after the welfare of her parents. Many times, matrilineal societies are incorrectly associated with female emancipation. The similar-sounding terms "matriarchy" and "matrilineal" are frequently confused. By definition, a "matriarchal" social structure is one in which women hold the majority of the authority; this is rarely, if ever, the case.The children adopt the mother’s surname and the property and wealth are inherited by the daughter from the mother, not by the son from the father. The word matrilineality is often overused because the husband still tends to remain the head of the household and older men play a vital decisive role. Traditionally, women in the Khasi tribe of Meghalaya were not permitted to take part in the decision-making processes of the local government institutions, known as the Dorbar Shnong (village council). This was a long-standing custom, but this has slowly changed in recent times. Khasi historian Amena Nora Passah who is a lecturer at North-Eastern Hill University in Shillong, observed that the Khasis are a community that values oral traditions and according to their oral narratives, they have roots in the patriarchal system. As warriors who frequently engaged in battles with rival groups for territory, Khasi men would often venture down to the plains to fight. In those conflicts, some men lost their lives, while others chose to start anew in the plains. With their partners gone, Khasi women would remarry or seek other partners, which made it challenging to ascertain the paternity of their children. Anthropologist Tiplut Nongbri writes: “ In Khasi society, the mother is the pivot of lineage, but the uncle remains the pivot of the authority” According to The Guardian , even though the Khasi tribe follows matriliny, men in the society do so reluctantly. They are not always included in family gatherings, and yet, paradoxically, the decision of the family is always headed by the male member irrespective of the matrilineal custom being followed. This contradiction highlights that even though women inherit but it's the men only who stand at the wheel. The Economic Times also reported some men feel “the system is not working for them” arguing that their role once as maternal uncles which were central to the family is declining increasingly, families are passing acquired property (as opposed to inherited ancestral land) to their sons instead of daughters (Kothari, 2019). This also reflects a gradual transformation wherein patriarchy is slowly steeping even in this last semblance of a matriarchal society. Despite the prevalent patriarchal elements, Meghalaya’s matrilineal system presents a unique social framework that contrasts sharply with the rest of India. In a nation where property ownership and lineage predominantly favor men, Meghalaya’s tradition of tracing descent through women offers them social and economic security. Here, women often experience increased mobility and a strong sense of belonging within their maternal families, unlike in many regions of India where daughters are still viewed as “paraya dhan.” The communal bonds and familial support in Meghalaya ensure that women are seldom left without a support system. Furthermore, the matrilineal structure promotes a cooperative culture rather than one of competition between genders, highlighting a collective responsibility for the welfare of the family. The core message of this analysis is to stress upon, regardless of how strongly matrilineal a community may seem, the fundamental presence of patriarchy remains significant whether it is overt or subtle. In Meghalaya, the matrilineal framework grants women recognition in terms of lineage and inheritance, yet authority frequently remains with men. This reflects how deeply entrenched patriarchal values often continue to influence social structures, even in systems that appear to empower women. Real empowerment extends beyond the realm of inheritance; it resides in the capability to lead, make decisions, and influence outcomes. Therefore, matriliny should never be confused with matriarchy, while one focuses on descent through women, the other identifies who possesses true power. Meghalaya’s situation serves as a reminder that while lineage may be traced through women, leadership often continues to be dominated by men.